Grace is a beautiful word.

With a mindful choice followed by an intentional practice of Grace, your life will be refreshingly distinctive in a time when sameness and impulsivity are ruling society.  By choosing Grace, you choose to be different, to stand apart, to live above the crowd.

Let’s look at the definition of Grace in our everyday lives through two contemporary cultural scenarios.

In the first example involving “Deborah,” we see graceless behaviors exhibited in all she does and who she has become. In the other example of “Sarah,” we see grace in action.  The names are strictly illustrative, as you and I collectively know many classy women named Deborah.

It’s early in the morning and Deborah is preparing to go to work. She heads to her closet and chooses a low-cut blouse which reveals the curves of her breasts, a tight-fitting pencil skirt that wrinkles as it stretches to fit her body, extra-large hoop earrings, and lots of bangle bracelets for each arm, accompanied by three rings for each hand.  Deborah’s style could best be described as trendy.

She dashes out the door and heads for her favorite coffee shop, Jo Jo’s, where she runs into an old friend. “What the f—, girl.  I haven’t seen you in years,” Deborah announces loudly upon entering Jo Jo’s.   After a brief encounter with her friend and Deborah’s domination of the conversation, she heads out of the shop, coffee in hand, with eyes down on her cell phone.  She rudely pushes through the door while two other customers attempt to come in.  An apology for her rudeness never enters her mind because she has no awareness of the presence of others.  Deborah lives her life in an unconsciously selfish bubble of self-indulgence, crude language, provocative dressing, and insensitive behavior to others.

Deborah arrives at work and immediately begins to plow through her personal texts and email messages while she luxuriously enjoys her coffee. She loves this morning time and considers it hers.  Next she scans the entertainment section of the newspaper before she finally checks her calendar for the day. She glances at her phone and notes that she is already ten minutes late for her first meeting. As she hurries to the meeting with only her phone in hand, the thought occurs to her that she has no idea what this meeting is about.

Deborah’s supervisor looks at her with disapproval when she barges through the door and peers disruptively throughout the room for an empty chair. Her supervisor grumbles to herself that Deborah is always late and usually not prepared. On multiple occasions, Deborah’s coworkers have reported their irritability with Deborah’s habit of being late and not being a team player. They dislike her self-absorbed unwillingness to help others. Her supervisor decides then and there that enough is enough. Deborah must either improve or leave. The supervisor holds little hope for improvement because Deborah displays consistently rude and unprofessional behavior, as if she has some sort of privilege to do so.

On the other hand, early that same morning, Sarah goes to her closet and chooses a neatly pressed blouse that provides a lovely frame to her face with its tailored, stand-up collar; a comfortable fitting, slim-line skirt that speaks of quality; small stud earrings; and her tasteful watch that she saved for.  Sarah’s style could best be described as sensibly modern.

She, too, heads for her favorite coffee shop, Jo Jo’s, where she runs into an old friend. “How are you? It’s been so long, and I’ve missed you,” Sarah expresses sincerely.  After a brief give-and-take and exchange of updated contact information with her friend, Sarah heads out the door, head up, cell phone in her purse, as she makes eye contact and smiles at two other customers coming in the coffee shop.  She holds the door for them and tells them to have a great day.  Sarah’s gift of kindness might seem startling in today’s world of indifference and insensitivity, but Sarah chooses to be kind to others despite the way of the world.

Now let’s observe what Sarah does when she arrives at work. Because she scans her calendar weeks and days in advance, she is prepared with research and a few exhibits for today’s meetings.  Sarah always prepares beforehand and stays into the evening if necessary to complete her work. Her goal is to walk into every meeting ready to respectfully and intelligently discuss her point of view.  Sarah is highly regarded by her leaders and coworkers. She is known for giving others a hand and in taking time to listen when they talk with her.  Now, after reviewing her materials yet another time, Sarah calmly walks to her first meeting. She’s ten minutes early.

Sarah knows something that Deborah does not know: in our jobs, careers, and life, we compete with ideas. By engaging our energies, intellect, and hearts into our work, we help our companies create the best solutions in the marketplace.  In turn, our engagement makes us more valuable to our employers, creating a win-win all around.

But first our ideas have to be heard, accepted, and acted upon. Deborah’s ideas may fall on deaf ears as folks listening and making decisions get distracted by baubles, breasts, and brash language. On the other hand, when Sarah speaks, people are cued to listen. She is classy, confident, and poised. She doesn’t seek the limelight but has an advantage because she presents her ideas without distractions in her bearing, demeanor, and attire.  Because Sarah does her homework, she approaches each meeting calmly and with emotional regulation, supported by a cultivated worldview.   She is considerate of other views while standing with conviction for her own beliefs.

Sarah also knows that kind human interaction gives her joy throughout the day. With joy in her heart, she approaches each life situation with hope and affirmation.  She rejects vulgar language because she knows it doesn’t add value to who she is, and she has learned to appreciate the abundance of words at her disposal from which to build an impressive vocabulary. People view Sarah as intelligent and professional by how she influences others, speaks, dresses, and interacts.  Sarah is distinctive and stands out from the crowd. Some might say Sarah is old-fashioned. I say Sarah has chosen Grace as a way of being and living her life, and Grace never goes out of style.

You have to earn your own way in the world.  In so doing, you get to choose how the world views you. You get to choose who you want to be in any given moment.  If you choose Grace, you will stand head and shoulders above the unmindful followers of the culture du jour. You will create your own following due to the respect you give and the respect you earn from your peers and colleagues. You will be set apart, free to express your thoughts with vibrancy, clarity, and a strong sense of purpose.

Be bold. Stand with Grace.